YOU’RE not invited… To Tom and Katie’s Wedding…

You, you, and YOU especially, are NOT invited to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding.  Other NON-Invitees include Penelope Cruz, and Joshua Jackson (who appeared on Dawson’s Creek with Katie). 

Perhaps the biggest non-invitation goes to Oprah Winfrey because of the "limited number of people they could invite" to the massive castle in Italy where the wedding will take place. 

So, in other words, if your first name starts in ‘Op’ and ends in ‘rah’, you are NOT invited.

Oprah still plans to give a wedding gift to the freaky new couple.  Despite the lack of an invitation, Oprah says there are no hard feelings.

I think Oprah’s just scared.  Even her firebreathing powers are no match for Mr. OT-VII himself (that’s Operating Thetan Seven for all you non-believers). 

I’m still waiting for my invitation.  I bet it will be here any day now.  That’s what I keep telling myself.