Tina Fey On Top Of Paris Hilton

It’s Brunettes versus Blondes in a bitchy battle between Paris Hilton and Tina Fey after Fey’s appearance on the Howard Stern show where she waxed poetic about Paris’ stint on Saturday Night Live:

Howard Stern: What is Paris Hilton like?

Tina Fey: She’s a piece of shit. The people at SNL were like maybe she’ll be fun, maybe she won’t take herself so seriously. She takes herself so seriously! She’s unbelievably dumb and so proud of how dumb she is. She looks like a tranny up close.

Howard Stern: Was she bad on SNL, was she hard to deal with?

Tina Fey: She was awful. People never come in and say "I’m not doing that." So, this guy Jim Downey wrote a really really funny sketch, it was supposed to be Lorne Michaels just finding out that she had a sex tape and telling her she couldn’t host the show because SNL has standards… So she was like "I’m not doing it!" and refused to come out of her dressing room. Also, you would walk down the hall and find what just looked like nasty wads of Barbie hair on the stairs… Her hair is like a Fraggle.

Howard Stern: Did she give you ideas for sketches?

Tina Fey: Yeah, she wanted to make fun of all the girls she hates. She was like "I want to play Jessica Simpson, I hate her." She would come in the room and say "you should do a show about Jessica Simpson because she’s fat."

Howard Stern: What was the bet you guys had going about her?

Tina Fey: The cast had a bet if she would ask anyone on the cast anything about themselves, you know like how are you? where are you from? anything. I think Seth Meyers won because at one point, she asked him if Maya Rudolf was Italian.

Now is the time for Paris to strike while the iron is hot by challenging Tina Fey to some sort of contest where Paris is bound to have the upper hand. Something like getting bitten by animals or giving Greek Shipping Heir lapdances should do the trick.