David Beckham’s Wedding Gift To TomKat

Football star David Beckham has penalty kicked a generous gift to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes: His Time. Fellow Scientologist Becks will be giving Tom’s children Isabella and Connor private lessons in the art of soccer. Baby Suri will have to sit on the sidelines and keep score until she can, well, you know, walk and stuff. Unable to join wife Victoria "Posh Spice" Adams in Italy for the lavish nuptuals due to scheduling conflicts with his team Real Madrid, David will be kicking it with the Cruise kiddies when he can find a bit of time.

A source tells British newspaper The Sun, "David has lots of tricks to show. The kids will have a great time."

Cor, I bet you he does! I would love to take some private soccer lessons from David Beckham while Posh Spice watched. Only you can replace "soccer’ with "mad sex" and "watched’ with "fell off a cliff."