Deciphering The Lindsay Code

That Lohan sure is a mystery wrapped inside a puzzle wrapped inside some hideous leggings. Her latest ranty CrackBerry Note To Self pointed the finger at one "LR" as the keystone to the conspiracy against Princess Firecrotch.

"I am going to proceed with putting LR to court if need be for what she’s done to me. Its my life. I want to live it. People cannot lie and think that it is okay to continue on having done so."

Oooh, now she’s FIRED UP!(teehee! I’m pathetic) How clever of her to use an alias, particularly one that was easy to unravel. LK is Lindsay Ratowsky, LiLo’s former assistant who ditched the drama queen to work for Jessica Biel. That explains why she was all up In Biel’s Kool-Aid last week athe the GQ Man Of The Year party.

As for her bits about rounding up Al Gore to help stop the insanity against child actresses gone awry in a sea of Grey Goose and oversized belts that could double as a portable yoga mat? Yeah, that wasn’t so true either even though I really thought that the former vice president cared about the pressing issues of  tabloid fodder, it was just another slick campaign promise. How selfish can you get?