Kato Kaelin: A Man Of Mystery

Remember when Kato Kaelin was everywhere? You couldn’t stand in the grocery store lines or turn on the tv without seeing the male version of The Rachel Cut, that blonde windswept mane coming at you like RARWR! His existence came to symbolize the very definition of freeloader, who was he before Nicole Brown died? Did he even have a job? He was just like his looks, vague and nonthreatening. The Trial Of The Century ended and then we don’t hear from the dude for over a decade until he pops up at Hyde Nightclub. I know! How did he get in there and Tara Reid got denied? Apparently OJ wasn’t the only one getting some free publicity from the nixed book deal.

"Kaelin was asked about Simpson’s disgusting book, "If I Did It." His response — "What do you mean ‘if’?"

Wait, WTF? Does that mean Nicole’s family should be out making real orange juice in the name of revenge? Or that he’s so outraged that someone would question the innocence of a star caught in the headlights of fame and an angry public? Damn you and that silky blond hair of yours, Kato for making us ask the questions that really matter.