The Miss America Controversy Continues

Not since Patty White Shoes stole Lisa Goody Goody’s baton during the Miss Summer Squash Sweetheart finals has this much controversy surrounded the tiara wrapped in fug of Aqua Net and lies that is pageant life. Tara Connor joins her fellow fallen soldier Katie Rees with new accusations of more improper conduct beginning in high school:

“Tara had to go to an alternative high school after she won the title of Miss Russell County Fair,” the source told The ENQUIRER. She’d been booted off the Russell County High cheerleading squad because she was busted for having vodka, marijuana and boys in her room at the National Cheerleading Competition in Orlando, Fla.” Jeremy Emerson, a high school classmate of Tara’s, added: “Tara was once escorted to the principal’s office for having beer in class. She was also removed from Russell County High for being drunk in class.” Despite her party-girl reputation, Tara was determined to hit it big, said the source. “Her parents gave her a boob job as a high school graduation gift because photographers told her that her breasts were too small for her to make it as a swimsuit model,” said the source.

Wow, nothing says “we’re proud of you” like two plastic bags of silicone. Who is dumb enough to get caught with beer in class? Didn’t she know how to carefully pour it into a Diet Coke can so she could enjoy the buzz sans the fuzz? Oh wait, I forgot for a minute there we were talking about a beauty queen. Those girls are lucky if they don’t take a shower in the blender using milkshakes for conditioner.