John Mayer Is A Jerkface

So John Mayer and Jessica Simpson are back on again after being spotted at Christina Aguilera’s New Year’s Eve Bash: "He was scratching her back, they were kissing, it wasn’t subtle," says a spy at the Heineken-sponsored bash. The couple dined earlier in the evening at Country, after shopping at Barneys during the day. A source tells us they are staying together at The Mercer hotel in SoHo. So what’s John do for one of the most coveted set of DD cups on the planet?? Check out this foul move: An insider says: "John has been thrilled that they have been tricking the media, but she doesn’t really care. His Christmas present to her was a framed copy of the Us Weekly cover that says ‘Dumped: John ditches Jessica.’" If that doesn’t promote you to Captain of Team Douchebag, I don’t know what does. Since John was so thoughtful, Jess should spring for a Valentine’s Day Gift of a paper bag with two holes cut in it so she can spare herself the humiliation of being seen out in public with someone who makes a genital-less Ken doll look like a better date.