Beauty Pageants Make For Good Role Models

That is, if your idea of a good girl includes getting knocked up at an unwed 20 year old. It happened to Miss New Jersey USA Ashley Harder and she couldn’t be more thrilled. The winner of the 2006 pageant is trading her crowns and gowns for a morning sickness stained maternity dress as she steps down from the title to begin breeding her own little stage whore.

“OH. MY. STARS!! This is the happiest day EVER! Finally, I can implement my plan of showing girls everywhere that if you eat nothing but cotton balls soaked in Diet Coke that you too can someday be paraded in front of strangers to be judged on your physical assets before you fall into the joys of another socially constructed trap called unplanned pregnancy! Yes! Ouch, that bobby pin is GOUGING AT MY SCALP!”

*EDIT-I apologize to Miss New Jersey Georgine DiMaria, I had my tiaras all a-twitter and implicated her to the pregnant one. She is not pregnant and I suck. Word.