I am by no means a fan of American Idol, but I am a fan of naive girls posing for tacky and topless pictures, so in the spirit of celebrating me, I present Idol finalist Antonella Barba’s imitation of Jessica Simpson’s Rolling Stone cover from when she wasn’t a total joke:

This isn’t even funny. I mean, it just looks like she works for one of those housecleaning services where women will Mop n’ Glo in the nude for an extra 10 bucks and hour. For some crazy offensive NSFW shots of La Barbarella(trademark mine!) click on the jump. Read the rest of American Idol Nudie Cutie Scandal

Paris the Heiress finds herself in the slammer once again after being pulled over in her Bentley driving under a suspended license.

“Miss Paris Hilton was driving the vehicle. After investigating her license status it was determined that she was driving on a suspended license,” sheriff’s spokesman Oscar Butao told Reuters. “Miss Hilton was cited for a suspended license violation and released in the field. Her 2007 blue Bentley Continental GTC was impounded,” Butao said.

OMG, if Nicole Richie is found guilty of her DUI, they can be cellmates together! It’ll be a whole new season of The Simple Life because it don’t get too much simpler than going to the Big House. Jesus, imagine how those two are gonna look after a month with no weaves or makeup! It’ll be the new Scared Straight video.

FINALLY. A judge has officially ruled that Anna Nicole Smith’s body will be taken to the Bahamas to be laid to rest next to her son Daniel. A last minute stay of execution filed by Anna’s mother Virgie has been denied and her daughter Dannielynn’s guardian will escort the body back to the Bahamas for interment Friday morning at 10:30.

A member of chef to the stars Wolfgang Puck’s catering team has been diagnosed with acute hepatitis A and may have exposed as many as 14 parties including Academy Award and Sports Illustrated bashes worth of celebrities, but Puck’s remaining silent on the details of which parties and attendees may have been affected. Not that Puck or his peeps gives a damn:

The rep said that the people who planned the other 13 events have been notified and now it’s the Health Department’s business to notify the guests, not theirs.

This isn’t the first time Puck’s tried to harm the people who made him a star, his attempt at a self-heating latte beverage was recalled after instead of giving peope tasty hot beverages, it sent them to the hospital with burns after the cans melted and exploded:

Starbuck’s run, anyone?

You can take the boy out of the ghetto, but you can’t really take the ghetto out of the boy, hmm? Hip-hop’s monotoned guru was busy scrappin’s with the peeps in the wee hours of the morning after Oscars shindigs:

Gerard Rechnitzer was at a post-Oscar bash Sunday night with his fiancee at Teddy’s at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood. At around 2 AM Monday morning, the 27-year-old Rechnitzer was on his way to the parking lot when he made a pit stop in the bathroom. When he walked out, he noticed his fiancee was surrounded by six men, including Combs. We’re told the 5′7″, 140 lb. Rechnitzer watched as Combs chatted up his girl for about five minutes, and then asked his fiancee to leave with him. At that point, Combs allegedly told the woman he was having a party and invited her to come. Rechnitzer persisted and asked his fiancee again to leave with him. Combs then allegedly socked Rechnitzer in the jaw.

Sheesh, it was the Oscars, not the Source Awards! Show a little decorum and take your beef outside.