Let’s All Feel Sorry For Adrianne Curry

The Girls over at America’s Next Top Model can’t catch a break, can they? If it isn’t poor Tyra Banks weeping over the state of her Hog Ready For Slaughter swimsuit pics, it’s ANTM Cycle One winner Adrianne Curry bemoaning her lack of cash to blow on solid gold shoes and whatever else models get to buy because God likes them better than you:

“We were told the winner would be an instant millionaire, that our faces would be plastered everywhere in Revlon ads. None of which turned out to be true … I still haven’t got paid for the work I did for them!”

Well, cry me a river! You mean you just have to be gorgeous and spend Christopher Knight’s residuals from The Brady Bunch? This a travesty of justice! Why don’t we form a charity to help all those poor models and rock stars and oil barons out there struggling to make ends meet so they don’t have to decide between that summer home in Martha’s Vineyard or that brand new Bentley. These are choices no one should have to make, people.