Brandon Davis: Still A Total Douche

Sweet Shiloh Jolie-Pitt! What environment hater let Brandon Davis skydive? One unopened parachute and you have yourself an oil spill worse that Exxon-Valdez. Hey, he was even slick enough to ruin Paris Hilton’s Birthday Bash Round 2:

The oily heir’s boorish behavior at the lavish 26th-birthday bash began around 10:00 PM, report Rush & Molloy, when he started throwing flowers at Paula Abdul, who was supposed to sing “Happy Birthday” to Paris. Then, it was the flower-holders he was chucking. And finally, after asking Paula to “lick my [bleep],” he mocked her by talking in a fake-Arabic accent. Paula bolted early, even before crooning. Then, Brandon decided to ingratiate himself to Courtney Love by grabbing her, making her straddle his waist, and telling her, “I want to squirt on you,” never minding that Courtney’s young daughter was right there. After all this and some broken glasses and candles, Paris broke down — and kicked Greasy out.

I love this mainly because of the whole FirecrotchGate incident, like how hilarious Paris thought it was when it happened to La Lohan, but when he starts messing with her heat, she has to bolt from the kitchen like her own cootch was in flames that had nothing to do with gonorrhea.