Pete Doherty Versus The Penguins

Jesus H. Christ on a Pogo Stick, how come lightning hasn’t struck Pete Doherty dead so I can stop reading sh*t like this? He was out celebrating his eviction from his London flat and subsequent ascension to Kept Man Status by moving into Kate Moss’ digs by swinging by the zoo and poisoning the penguins:

“Everyone knew he was smoking grass. He was joking about getting the penguins stoned. He threw them his joint and it looked like one penguin gulped it down. It seemed very wobbly.”

WTF? This asshat is about to be a DAD and if he’s living with La Mossy, he’s already playing stepdad to Lila Grace. I bet he packs her nice lunches of Jell-O Shots, rotten bananas and used hypodermic needles then cusses people out when they protest. It’s only PENGUINS and BABIES, not JESUS or ELVIS PRESLEY. Sheesh.