Depp Quits Being A Pirate for Ill Daughter

They are actually putting a complete halt on filming and production of the movie Sweeney Todd in England so Johnny Depp, who plays the lead, until his daughter recovers from her illness.

Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman and Sacha Baron Cohen have been sent home.

Stopping filming makes sense, so we’ll leave that alone.

I will, however, take issue with Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, the third freakin time Johnny’s playing Jack Sparrow. What happened to that cool cinematic integrity that made you so misterious and cool?

Everything’s a trilogy now, I guess. What about Edward Scissorhands: Legend of the Jheri Curl? I got a lot of ideas.