Another Spoiled Rich Kid Sex Tape

You wanna know what makes me feel really old? Besides seeing 80’s fashions come back and being horrified at the Proustian notions of stirrup leggings and neon jelly bracelets? The fact that I don’t have a sex tape about to be leaked to the press like Lauren Conrad and Jason Wahler of that insipid reality show The Hills. L.C. of course denied this rumour by holding a press conference on MySpace:

“Jason and I would like to make it clear that we did not make a tape with us having sex. Jason and I are both shocked and hurt that people would say such horrible things about us. I can’t believe that somebody would go to such great lengths to try to damage my reputation.”

When I was a girl we kept it real and just made daguerretypes that we had to pose for by sitting still for ten minutes at a time. There was none of this instant digital gratification or cars n’ erections that could go places without a turn of the hand crank.