Joe Simpson Wants To Handle Britney

In what would no doubt be one of the most unholy pseudo Sisterhood Of The No Pants mashings, Jessica and Ashlee’s exploiter dad Joe Simpson wants to add Britney Spears to his roster of DD cupped and nose capped girls: Simpson, a former minister, recently tried to set up a meeting with Spears to discuss her future. Spears’ camp denies that claim. I know this is a really, really bad idea but I don’t care. I want to see this happen, I want Brit to move in with the Simpsons and bring the kids and have K-Fed drop by for dinner and Joe peeping in on all his "girls" pillow fighting over stolen lip gloss and jellybeans and stickers. We all know Joe wants to nail Jess, if he got Britney, it’d be close enough!