Petra Nemcova A Danger To Herself

She needs rehab more than David Hasselhoff for going after-wait for it-Stavros Niarchos.

“She was grinding him,” our witness said. “It was pretty gross. I mean, he used to sleep with Paris. Eww.”

I’m pretty sure taking up Paris Hilton and Mary-Kate Olsen’s sloppy seconds puts you on the No Fly Terrorist List of the highest Red Alert Level. I mean, the guy wears sweatbands!

Unless you are on Fame, or earnestly Jazzercizing your way to good health circa 1984, there is no excuse for sweatbands and it is clearly not the 80’s in that photo because it’s not the backyard trampoline on the set of Full House. Just call me Sherlock Holmes.