Jessica Simpson And John Mayer: Dunzo 2.0

Looks like Jess will have plenty of free time to continue her nonstop consumption of Cheesy Bites Pizza and buckets of Uncle Joe’s Country Fillin’* now that her and Closet Fag du Jour John Mayer have possibly parted ways

The couple that once seemed inseparable was very much separated Thursday, partying in completely different time zones. Jessica attended the Nike party at the Hotel du Cap in Cannes on Thursday night. Earlier in the day, she was spotted hanging around Cannes with papa Joe Simpson and hairdresser-to-the-stars Ken Paves. “I’m going to keep my private life private, but I am very happy,” she said.

I just never got how she went from Nick Lachey to John Mayer. The head cheerleader does not ditch the prom king just to sit on the other side of the cafeteria with the weird guy from the AV Club who always looks like he might pass out from staying up all night and playing EverQuest while peeing into a bottle of soda to save time.

*It might just be the smushed boobs in that mess of a sequined dress, but she’s definately looking huskier. Which is hot.