Paula Abdul Breaks Her Nose To Save Ratings

Paula Abdul broke her schnozz over the weekend, just in time to be wrapped up in bandages for sweeps week. Nothing like a little sympathy to boost some seriously slacking ratings:

I took a nasty fall … trying not to hurt my dog. I bruised myself on my arm … my chest, my waist all the way down to my hip. All from my little chubby Tulip," Abdul said.

Do you ever get the feeling that Paula sounds like either a battered housewife or a junkie that goes out of their way to concoct stories to cover up the truth about their co-dependence/addiction? Next thing you know she’ll be telling us she bumped into the fender of a car going 70 miles an hour while she was wandering the freeway in search of fresh squeezed juices.Those tasty juices are evil, I tells ya! Evil!