Paula’s Secret Crazy Phone Convo

“I’ve never been treated this way and I’ve never seen anybody treated this way. This is just too much to stomach.”

A homeless person with no place to go in the freezing cold? A mother desperate to feed her family? Not quite. So begins the Paula Abdul Phone Bitch Session Heard ‘Round The World, brought to you courtesy of The New York Post’s Page Six. Miss Abdul can be heard ranting and raving these choice bits:

“I do a call-in every week for OK! Magazine on ‘American Idol.’ Because of my brilliant job, they want to do a cover on me. I’m being told by Howard Bragman that I’m too old and no one will ever want to do a cover.
“I’m being tested. All I’ve ever wanted in my life is to be treated fairly and be treated with kindness. And I’ve never in my entire career been treated this way. The people who are supposed to take care of these things do not. I have to clean up after them everywhere they go. And I’m tired of it. Howard Bragman on Monday - he did some disgusting behavior. I had to go to Jimmy Kimmel,” Abdul is heard sobbing, “with no publicist there. [Abdul appeared on Kimmel’s show on May 15.] I go on with no publicist there and I pay this man . . .”I don’t understand how this man can call me a whining bitch. I’ve never in my life been called a whining bitch and a loser.”

Well, she did lie about her nose getting broken, she said she tripped on her dog then later admitted she actually chucked a glass at the wall and it smashed into her face. Plus, this really wasn’t that bad, compared to her other super Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs bits she’s been known to do. Still, she released this to TMZ expressing her outrage:

“I am deeply hurt and extremely disappointed that someone has taken a private telephone conversation that I had with my representatives and released it to the media. This is not only illegal but also highly unethical. While I don’t feel a need to justify or explain my conversation, even as a public figure I do feel my privacy has been violated and find this action to be unacceptable.”

For reals! Why bother taping her calls when you know she’s just gonna show up on the red carpet wrapped in a warm cloak of Vicodin and Gin with some unreal gibberish blathering from that Botoxed face with the long bangs covering a forehead incapable of movement?