Kelly Clarkson’s Life Not Getting Any Better

Oh yes, Kelly. Scream. Do whatever it takes to make you feel better about appearing on stage in fingerless gloves stolen from Oliver Twist and a net from the Red Lobster over your bra. I hope that it at least came with some of those Cheddar Garlic Biscuits because you are going to need them now that your album got beat out by a 14 year old with a rhyming alter ego.

To be fair, look at how cute little Miley Cyrus is! Her dad had a mullet! They took her credit card away when she bought a Prada bag!

Kelly, don’t feel too bad. She’s only a teenager which means she can’t drive or stay out really late or any of the other things that made adulthood rock. Besides, Hannah Montana is the new Lizzie McGuire and when was the last time you heard anything good from Hilary Duff? She sits at home making voodoo dolls of Joel Madden.