Tom Cruise Gets Germany To Show Him The Money

Since the German goverment is like Biggie and Tom Cruise is like Tupac, the movie Valkyrie starring the religion’s most infamous couch jumper is not getting made anywhere near Germany. In an effort to keep things cool de la, the German goverment is slapping a $6 milion dollar Band-Aid to cover the wound:

Berlin appears now to be moving to defuse the row caused by the German Defense Ministry denying access to a Hollywood production of a movie about the 1944 plot to assassinate Hitler — in protest against anti-Nazi hero Claus von Stauffenberg being played by Tom Cruise, because Cruise is a high-profile Scientologist. Although the Defense Ministry’s position stands, the German Federal Film Fund (DFFF), a government agency established to support film making in Germany, appears to have made a peace offering, in the form of a $6 million grant to the company making the film.

Lovely! Now they won’t have to resort to stealing Prince Harry’s old party costumes for the movie clothes.