Festivus Monday: Why Nerds Shouldn’t Breed

Sometimes people do things that make you so angry that you just want to kick them in the chest for that satisfactory feeling deep in your soul. This is one of those times.

A couple who authorities say were so obsessed with the Internet and video games that they left their babies starving and suffering other health problems have pleaded guilty to child neglect. The children of Michael and Iana Straw, a boy age 22 months and a girl age 11 months, were severely malnourished and near death last month when doctors saw them after social workers took them to a hospital, authorities said. Both children are doing well and gaining weight in foster care, prosecutor Kelli Ann Viloria told the Reno Gazette-Journal. Michael Straw, 25, and Iana Straw, 23, pleaded guilty Friday to two counts each of child neglect. Each faces a maximum 12-year prison sentence. Viloria said the Reno couple were too distracted by online video games, mainly the fantasy role-playing “Dungeons & Dragons” series, to give their children proper care. “They had food; they just chose not to give it to their kids because they were too busy playing video games,” Viloria told the Reno Gazette-Journal. Police said hospital staff had to shave the head of the girl because her hair was matted with cat urine. The 10-pound girl also had a mouth infection, dry skin and severe dehydration. Her brother had to be treated for starvation and a genital infection. His lack of muscle development caused him difficulty in walking, investigators said.

This is a perfect example of how the internet is contributing to the downfall of society. If these grossly negligent people didn’t have chat rooms and IM to make it so easy to meet each other they would still be in their mom’s basement jacking off to old Playboys before everyone brings their 12 sided dice for a rousing game of Mystical Unicorn Hunt or whatever the hell these people play.