The Top Ten Reasons Why Lindsay Lohan Had Cocaine in Her Pocket

By now everyone in the universe has heard that Lindsay Lohan was pulled over for drunk driving and was found with cocaine in her pocket.

So…why did she have it in her pocket? Let’s take a look at her excuses:

10. One of her friends asked her if she wanted some ‘nose candy’ and she thought it was a new type of Jolly Rancher

9. She was feeling charitable earlier that evening so she switched pants with a homeless guy – she had no idea what was in those pants!

8. She’s being blackmailed by an international cocaine cartel into smuggling cocaine into the country 2.3 ounces at a time

7. She was too drunk to realize she grabbed a bag of cocaine instead of that bag of sugar she usually keeps in her pocket for good luck

6. Some things seem like a good idea when you’re drunk. Everything seems like a good idea when you’re drunk driving! 

5. Ok, so…….uh, like…….what? 

4. She like, totally, has a prescription somewhere for medical cocaine

3. She was just cast to play Robert Downey Jr. in a new movie and she’s trying to get into character

2. She forgot her glasses when she went to the pharmacy to pick up her medicine for her herp…er, cold…and they accidentally gave her cocaine

1. She has a powdered sugar addiction, but her sleazy dealer sold her low-grade sugar heavily cut with cocaine