Hey, look who is out and about PLUS smiling at a child that she didn’t retrieve out of a bastard bin in a Third World Country! See, Angelina doesn’t hate Shiloh. She just resents the fact that she looks exactly like the man who keeps trying to tell her what to do with her life and tie her down with some bogus obligations when all she wants is to just wear black leather and get more tattoos and not have some DUDE from the MIDWEST try and tell her how to run her life and try to get her to eat when people are starving. So there. Another picture of Angelina and Mini-Brad after the jump.
It’s only a week until little Dannielynn Hope Marshall
Stern Birkhead turns one. Daddy Larry has his hands full as a single dad and now OK! magazine is giving the Britney Spears treatment to him for cheating on his realtionship with the mag by allowing a cover story to run in US magazine:
“I asked out of courtesy, and OK! magazine went through the roof,” Birkhead said, adding that the glossy was also irked by the invite to Dannielynn’s party turning up in InTouch. “They can’t stand it if one other magazine has one other little detail.” One email from OK!, Birkhead claimed, warned he’d be the subject of “horrid” coverage if he went ahead with the Us story. In the end, Birkhead did the Us interview, and according to him, he got the “horrid” treatment. “They just sent out a press release showing how vindictive they are,” Birkhead said. “They wanted to lock me down, like I’m under their command.” Per Birkhead, the magazine also wanted to play party planner. “They wanted to send a rap star to my daughter’s first birthday,” Birkhead said. “That’s not appropriate for a one-year-old.”
What, no strippers? Pussycat Dolls couldn’t do “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”? Criss Angel couldn’t impale himself on the fence by the pony rides? She’s only turning one. Her party plans will probably consist of working on not being afraid of the clown making balloon animals.
80’s R&B sensation El Debarge was arrested for some sort of domestic dispute. If you don’t know who he is, you probably weren’t old enough to remember Members Only Jackets and Hypercolor clothes. Here’s his mug shot:
I’m not going to feel too sorry for him, after all he could still make a comeback as the spokesperson for Jheri Curl. If leggings can come back, so could that soggy hairstyle. His future parole officer would have no trouble finding him, either. They could just follow the greasy drip.
Superstar soccer dad David Beckham was injured for the second time since his exercise in futility to make soccer more popular in America:
Beckham was forced to leave the game in the 30th minute, after he and Pachuca midfielder Fernando Salazar collided violently and both players left the game with knee injuries. Officials later described Beckhams injury as a right knee sprain. After the collision, Beckham remained face down on the grass for a few seconds before getting up and limping to the sideline.
It’s a pity soccer isn’t like those other beloved American pasttimes of NASCAR racing and Fake Wrestling; people tune in to watch those in hopes of actually getting to see someone enduring bodily harm. This also serves as the reason soccer fails to captivate the Land Of The Free And The Home Of The Brave. Now you load soccer up with some burning gasoline or someone getting whomped in the face with a folding chair? There’s a sport people would be clamoring to get to.
Lindsay Lohan is still doing an awesome job at being a total mess, even while she’s supposed to be getting help. She’s reportedly been busted having sex with a male patient in a toilet stall, won’t do any of her chores and a forced random drug test came back-wait for it-POSITIVE:
“Lindsay got called into the director’s office on August 15 and was questioned about drugs. When ordered to take a drug test, she reluctantly complied but screamed and cursed at the medical director before storming out the room. She was told that if she couldn’t conform to the programme she’d have to leave.”
So all that bull about being sorry and an addict desperate for help was a lie? Man, I take back everything I said about her having no talent because she had me fooled with that song and dance. Where do you go when you’ve been kicked out of the most hardcore rehab center in the country? This isn’t Promises, where the staff is so clueless they think drug tests come multiple choice. I can just see her making hush hush plans via e-mail to get one of her flunkies to stash some coke in the packets of floral food that come with flower arrangements so when he big bouquet of daisies comes, she’s all set.