Eddie Murphy: I’m No Dead Beat Dad

You know Eddie Murphy was at home drinking his coffee and enjoying his Froot Loops when he discovered the pictures of his ex-wife Nicole and current baby momma Melanie Brown emerging from the Ivy like Churchill and Stalin plotting against Hitler. “Not on my watch, bitches!” he probably screeched. His publicist has blasted the rumours that Eddie hasn’t been there for Melanie and his new found daughter Angel Iris:

Eddie Murphy always has and will continue to honor his responsibilities as a father. Mr. Murphy and Ms. Brown dated very briefly and never made any plans of ANY sort. He acknowledges paternity of the child Angel, and has paid child support to Ms. Brown as well as covering the expenses of her pregnancy.

I just can’t believe Eddie’s getting married again, this time to light skinned film producer Tracey Edmonds.

Soon she’ll be the Roosevelt in the Allies Against Axis/Axel Foley and Murphy will be selling Shrek juice cups to make alimony and child support payments.