Another Day, Another Britney Sex Tape Scandal

Sean Preston better hold little Jayden’s hand because it’s about to get fuglier for mommy as some dude is claiming he’s got a tape of Britney knocking some scuffed up looking boots:

The unnamed 28-year-old told In Touch Weekly the only thing holding him back from releasing the video was the disappointment in his own performance and that he was too embarrassed to share it with the world. “It was just normal sex, we didn’t do anything crazy,” he said. “It was a little disappointing. It lasted for about 25 minutes and then we passed out.” The man said he was living on Hawaii’s Big Island when Spears visited there in June. He claims he left his camera rolling as they hooked up in a bungalow at the Four Seasons hotel on the Kona-Kohala Coast on June 7. He reportedly met the troubled mother-of-two in the hotel bar at 1am and they partied together in her room.

I keep starting to ask myself questions like “How did she not know there was a tape going?” and I have to stop myself and remember that it’s Britney we’re talking about. She gets caught with ketchup smeared on her face and tries to tell people it’s her new makeup line and maybe they want to put in an advance order for some Kool-Aid lipstick and Cheetos blusher? Because it is going to be the hotness, just like her body, new album and deep rooted sense of denial.