Ellen Degeneres Has Real Problems

When a weepy Ellen Degeneres was asked what was making her so sad as she hosted an episode of her talk show, she revealed the source of her trauma was a dog that had been taken away from her hairdresser:

The talk show hostess and her partner Portia de Rossi adopted Iggy, a Brussels Griffon mix, on Sept. 20. But when things didn’t work out, DeGeneres gave the dog to her hairdresser. In doing so, DeGeneres violated an agreement with the Mutts and Moms dog rescue agency by not informing them of the handoff. When the agency called DeGeneres to ask about Iggy, she said she found another home for the dog. The agency sent a representative to the hairdresser’s home Sunday and took the dog away. “I guess I signed a piece of paper that says if I can’t keep Iggy, it goes back to the rescue organization, which is not someone’s home, which is not a family,” she said in a show transcript provided to The Associated Press. “I thought I did a good thing. I tried to find a loving home for the dog because I couldn’t keep it.” “I feel totally responsible for it and I’m so sorry. I’m begging them to give that dog back to that family,” she said. “It’s not their fault. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have given the dog away. Just please give the dog back to those little girls.”

War, World Hunger, and AIDS can all kiss Ellen’s ass. This is about a DOG, people. These issues cannot be ignored any longer. OK, OK, I’m a jerk for being so mean about some kids getting their dog taken away so I’ll just go on and tear Mutts and Moms a new one too. What kind of power trip are they on when they go on James Bond like raids to retrieve a dog from some children? There’s probably some little kid getting tied to a garbage can so his parents can head out to the stock car races, but do you think Mutts and Moms cares? Not as long as a celebrity is out there just GIVING dogs away to GOD KNOWS WHO.