Britney’s Parenting Coach Confirms What We Already Knew

Unfitney finally took time out from tanning and injecting herself with various fatty substances and allowed herself to be monitored by the court ordered parenting coach whose report will be making a big impact on the Oct. 26 custody hearing betwn Brit and Kev. Looks like Fed-Ex is in the clear to be taking Sean and Jayden Trick-Or-Treating because the coach wasn’t to complimentary according to TMZ:

Sources say the two-and-a-half page report says Britney totally ignored the coach — didn’t even acknowledge her presence. The coach says she was unable to teach Britney anything, because Spears didn’t want to listen.The report, which was presented to the court yesterday and will be critical in determining if Spears should regain 50/50 custody, concludes that Britney often ignores her kids and lives in her own little world — that Britney often disappeared and wasn’t around the kids or the coach. We’re told the coach has said Brit spends a lot of time on the phone and changing clothes.

Well, yeah, she ignored the coach. Now if she had been made out of Frappucinos and Doritos crumbs and carrying a camera, Britney would have been all ears. Seriously, this is a really good idea for future parenting coaches and other court sponsored peeps: coat yourselves in caramel and chopped roasted peanuts and watch her begin to pay rapt attention to your every word. You might want to get a stick, too. It will make the Caramel Apple Costume really authentic and when she tries to bite you, you can jab her in gut with it.