The Arnold Apple

I am not even sure where to begin when it comes to calculating the horrors of an apple named after Governor Terminator. Here’s what the PR peeps have to say:

[the apples are]”lovingly tended by skilled and dedicated apple farmers in small to medium sized orchards, far away from the methods of mass-production.”

Is this some sort or Republican Snow White joke? Like you bite into the Ah-nold Apple and suddenly you’re taking a dirt nap for a 1000 years before some wrinkled tiny white men start yelling at you for trespassing the border and then put you to work cleaning their houses and such? I think we all know what fruit comes next.

The Bush Banana, natch.