Because You Care About Fake Shows And Hos

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt of the MTV Slutfest that is The Hills have called off their wedding! I know! I’ll give you a minute to compose yourself. Go on and get your inhaler. Bring me a smoothie and one of those big cookies back, too.

I am sure there is a large cross section of America who will be crushed by this news, but don’t you worry about them. Christmas is around the corner and they can console themselves with Bratz dolls and the board game version of High School Musical 2. Hey, I heard Zac Efron is going to be at Jamba Juice later! That’ll make up for this tragedy.