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2008 January » Hollywood Snark
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Archive for January, 2008

Who Are The Top 99 Women Of 2008?


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It isn’t any surprise AskMen.com couldn’t come up with a full 100 worthy female celebs this year; a fair few have fallen off the block lately, calling into question the roles women play in the public eye.

That said, we love useless countdowns, and AskMen have a good one. We’ll just skip straight to the top 10:

10. Adriana Lima - of course. She’ll make the top ten next year as well.
09. Marisa Miller - the best Jessica Simpson look-a-like in a while.
08. Rihanna - the one thing Jay-Z could promote well on Def Jam.
07. Jessica Biel - it’s all about paparazzi at the beach.
06. Scarlett Johansson - no brainer.
05. Jessica Alba - with a fairly placid career, Alba still manages to stay in clear view.
04. Eva Mendes - I don’t understand this one. Anyone?
03. Kate Beckinsale - I’ve been in the fanclub a while; well deserved spot.
02. Alessandra Ambrosio - the Victoria’s Secret model that looks like a beauty contest winner. Pft.
01. Katherine Heigl !!

I love that Heigl got No.1! I guess when you ask men, they can sometimes be right.

Most of the list is clear filler - Sienna Miller gets a spot?! - but a nice addition was Reon Kadena at No.50 - oooww! See the full list here.

Reon Kadena AskMen Top99

Britney Locked Up For Crazy Driving


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britney spears hospitalized againThis one just won’t go away quietly. Britney Spears has no relevance anymore, nothing to offer. Oh, except for all these great headlines!

Today Britney was taken by the police to the UCLA Medical Center for evaluation in accordance to what’s called a 5150. This just means the cops thought she was a danger to herself and others.

“She was driving around her neighborhood like a mad-woman,” says a Spears family source. “Britney has been prescribed medication which she refuses to take. This is just another sad, sad evening.”

Oh, they’re still letting her out at night, let alone drive as well. Hasn’t she been refused visitation rights to her kids and is no doubt depressed and off the curve? Well at least they put her away for a bit.

Let’s hope she gets well, moves out of LA FINALLY! and lives a half decent life away from cameras, the public and any foolish notion of a music career.

Brit’s Commit 2.0


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britney-spears-quiznos-bathroom.jpg

While the Writer’s Strike continues to deny us our daily bread of improbable plot lines aren’t we lucky to have Britney Spears acting out a real life soap opera before our very eyes? Last night the Drama Mama was committed by a team of doctors and family members who arrived with police escorts to take her to UCLA’s Medical Center for the help she desperately needs:

Last night, Britney’s new psychiatrist went to her home and felt she was a danger to herself and others — partly because of her reckless driving and partly because of her “downhill behavior.” As a result, the shrink launched a plan (days in the making) to have Britney committed to UCLA Medical Center by calling the cops. Sources tell us the cops knew it was coming. In fact, the plan was for cops and paramedics to take Britney away the night before, but it was scrubbed. Last night, it all went down according to plan. Cops even used code to minimize craziness in transporting Britney to the hospital. Over the police radio, she was referred to as “The Package.”

The Package seems so…male centered. Perhaps they should have chosen The Box?

Before the cops arrived, the shrink told her she was going back to the hospital and she offered no resistance. She said, “Is something wrong?” She made hot chocolate and waited. Her mom, Lynne, got extremely agitated, accusing Sam of engineering the impending commitment. We’re told Brit told her to “shut the hell up.” She demanded silence, sat on the floor and wrote notes to people who were there as they waited. When emergency personnel arrived, Brit went on the gurney without resistance. When everyone arrived at UCLA, things got heated. Jamie Spears began screaming at Sam Lutfi, accusing him of trying to control Britney. We’re told as far as the doctors are concerned — at least for now — Lynne and Jamie Spears are not calling the shots. The point guy for the docs is Brit’s friend, Sam Lutfi. Jamie went off on Lutfi in the hallway, accusing him of trying to control his daughter.

Eventually Lynne and Jamie did get control of their eldest daughter and are back to being the ones responsible for her medical care. Can I just say how weird and inappropiate Sam Lufti is? I can see him at a Jewish Bris grabbing the circumcision scapel and yelling “I’m in charge of this now!” before going on to turn little Abraham into a eunuch.

Tacky Celebs Join Tacky Disney


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Oh dear, there’s nothing whimsical or magical in the 2008 promo shoots for Disney. Last year Beyonce and Scarlett Johansson did nicely, but this time there’s a real WTF element in the air.

First we’ve got the always dramatic J-Lo/M-Ant coupling. This is barely par for the course, they don’t look sexy or even interested.

Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony, Disney

I’ll skip the Whoopi shoot, because I want to, but Rachel Weisz pulls off a Sleeping Beauty better than anyone I’ve seen since the actual Disney animated movie.

Rachel Weisz, Disney

Next is Jessica Biel, who I’d usually fall all over in any photograph. This one really goes up a notch for awkwardness. It’s supposed to be Pocohontas, but yeah, I now realize why shots of Biel work best whilst on a beach.

Jessica Biel, Disney

The only shot that actually seems to work is Gisele and Mikhail Baryshnikov in a fairly on point Peter Pan remake. What makes this shot ring? A little Tina Fey as Tinkerbell. Well done!

Gisele, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Tina Fey, Disney

Check the Popsugar gallery for some nice behind the scenes shots - none of Tina Fey, though.

Naked Oprah, Bronzed


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There’s an image you didn’t need. Sensationalist sculptor Daniel Edwards has unveiled a new celebrity piece this week. This time of Oprah. The fattish Oprah.

The Oprah Sarcophagus is an Egyptian-like bronze sculpture of a nude Oprah, wearing some kind of Fantastic-4 uniform. Edwards says his piece pays homage to the closest thing America has to a living deity.

What are your thoughts?

The Oprah Sarcophagus


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