Britney Released From Hospital

In what has to be the greatest foul up in medical history, Britney Spears has been released from the psych ward after a court appointed lawyer determined she’s no longer a danger to herself. Tell that to the poor baristas at Starbuck’s who are going to have to deal with her demands and guilt over selling her a bucket of Frappucino large enough to drown herself in. Her parents released this statement:

“As parents of an adult child in the throes of a mental health crisis, we were extremely disappointed this morning to learn that over the recommendation of her treating psychiatrist, our daughter Britney was released from the hospital that could best care for her and keep her safe.” “We are deeply concerned about our daughter’s safety and vulnerability and we believe her life is presently at risk. There are conservatorship orders in place created to protect our daughter that are being blatantly disregarded. We ask only that the court’s orders be enforced so that a tragedy may be averted.”

Since when do lawyers know anything about whether someone is a danger to themselves or not? Is it Switch Career Day? Does that mean I can go into the dentist’s office and star huffing gas then performing root canals? Because I know when someone’s teeth need repairing. Trust me. I’m a journalist.