The Hills Needs A Ratings Boost, Hence A Breakup To Come

Just as I was putting away the Kleenex over the parting of Justin-Bobby and Audrina, now we have deal with the imminent breakup of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt! Oh, the humanity!

“Spencer and I have really had our ups and downs this past year,” Montag tells Us. “I’ve definitely been betrayed by friends before, but I’ve never had a boyfriend do this to me.” She adds, “Spencer and I may differ on what it means to cheat.”

Spencer Pratt seems exactly like the kind of guy you’d find at the strip club covered in edible body glitter reeking of whatever Designer Imposters deodorant spray was on sale at Target this week as he claims to be “helping humanity” by stuffing dollar bills into some girl named Sweetest Taboo’s G-string. Uh huh. Because her college fund only accepts one dollar bills as part of the Captain Save-A-Ho Foundation. He’s on the board with Bret Michaels and Flava Flav.