Lil’ Jon Starts His Own Winery

We all need alcohol, you feel me? Maybe you don’t, with your awesome credit scores and realistic toupees but if you are like me, you need booze. You might as well leave Cristal to the hos in the hot tub of some Jay-Z video because the buck fifty you scraped off the topless dancing runway is going to fix the hole you punched in the trailer ceiling. Besides, the new panty dropping beverage of choice will be the wine produced by rapper Lil’ Jon:

The wine is more nature: I wanted to not just have a direct connection, but make it just a little bit more upscale than regular ‘Lil Jon.’ … This is not no ghetto Boone’s Farm; this is some real wine.”

At first I thought, uh huh, this is going to taste like cough syrup and the sweat wrung from prison jumpsuits but how pretentious is that? It could be the next Baron Rothschild! Something you could freely drink in the park without a paper bag because people would see you getting wasted and say “Now there’s a homeless person with fine taste in wine!”