Lindsay Lohan Abandons A Different Sort Of Red Carpet

Lindsay Lohan went running back to heterosexuality by issuing a statement over the breakup between herself and DJ Samantha Ronson:

“We are taking a brief break so I can focus on myself,”

Good for her! And by focus I’m sure she means hooking up with random guys behind In-n-Out Burger for a line of coke and the promise of a tray of discounted Animal Style Fries. Hey, we all process grief differently.