Jon Gosselin Goes For The Upgrade

It only took Reality Dad of 8 Jon Gosselin all of ten minutes to stick his semi famous wang back in the dating pool. You’d think he’d be ready for some Adult Swim time but he’s back in the kiddie pool waving a Lil’ Swimmers diaper and arm floaties for his 22 year old girlfriend Hailey Glassman:

“Hailey and I have been family friends for several years and only very recently began dating,” Jon Gosselin explains. “What began as friendship has grown into something more.
“I genuinely enjoy spending time with her. It’s nice to be with someone who I can confide in and trust and who accepts me for who I am.”

This would be a lot less creepy if Ms. Glassman wasn’t the daughter of the plastic surgeon that removed Kate Gosselin’s flap of sextuplet real estate from her abdomen:

That’s one freakishly high belly button, is it not? You move that thing up a few clicks and we are talking about another peak on Mount Kate’s Bosom Range in between Reverse Mullet Mountain and the Clown Car Vagina Canyon.