Jessica Simpson And The Trouble With Texting

Jessica Simpson is super bummed out and not just because her Rubenesque figure could not be tamed by a single belt so she had to skin two leopards to complete the ensemble above. Her douchey ex John Mayer steamy text messages forced boy toy Tony Romo to call for a penalty kick to her sensitive emotions and lady parts:

They (Simpson and Romo) were hanging out and he picked up her phone and she got defensive about it, Tony found messages from John and went ballistic. He dumped her right then. He walked out and that was it,” the source added.

It’s really quite shocking, if you stop and think about it. I mean, who would have thought Jessica Simpson knew how to read? Hooked on Phonics must have worked for her.