First on the docket is Perez Hilton who got nailed with 25 civil counts by a bevy of photo agencies banded together against The Queen OF All Media:

On April 23, five paparazzi agencies in the U.S. filed a multi-million dollar suit against Lavandeira at U.S. District Court in Los Angeles. In the statement of claim – nearly 100 pages long – Splash, Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, INF and London Entertainment Pictures allege that Lavandeira unlawfully publishes their copyright-protected photos without consent, payment or credit. The agencies are seeking more than $7 million (U.S.) in damages as well as fees and legal costs. They also want a court to seize Lavandeira’s profits and order him to remove all their images from PerezHilton.com. Chris Doherty, president of INF, said: “Perez Hilton is making a mockery of the copyright laws in this country and all over the world, and it is now time for the U.S. legal system to recognize this and put a stop to it.”

Next up to bat is Jennifer Love Hewitt who got bitch slapped by her former management company:

Handprint Management alleges that J-Love breached her contract, and claims her career had been stalled prior to landing a role on the hit series. They say their work brought her “back to national prominence as a television star.”

Wait, what? Star? Oh, yeah. Party of Five. Wait, does that count? She was just Bailey’s little plaything.

Britster’s out to set the record straight on her troubled year that culminated in a stint in rehab by blaming her ex-husband Kevin Federline for driving her to the brink of suicide by publishing a juicy novel revealing what led to her public meltdown. Hold up! She can write? Who knew? Brit’s blabbings are set to earn her upwards of $10 million, not that it makes a dent in the debt she accumulated when she went on Matt Lauer doing her best Barefoot In The Trailer Park impersonation.

La Lohan’s chauffeur must be getting high off the fumes because he mistook himself for someone who actually mattered when he had a run in with Tony Bennett’s daughter: "[He] was hostile with me. He ran into me, then got out of his car and started yelling at me." Her manager, Keya Morgan, said Zagata was waiting to pick up Lohan in the parking lot of the Rehearsals.com recording studio in Burbank and talking on his cellphone when "he hit Antonia’s car. Then he has the nerve to jump out and scream, ‘Don’t you know who I am? I represent Lindsay Lohan! How dare you get in my way!’ He had no idea who Antonia was." Morgan said that Zagata tried to blame Antonia "but [that] there were six witnesses, including the security guard who saw him ram her." He said that Antonia was shaken up and that her car suffered close to $2,000 in damages. Tony Bennett’s daughter could be hitting the crack pipe while her dad croons and she’d still make a more sympathetic figure than LiLo’s driver. The answer to his "Don’t you know who I am?" is "a guy who makes 6 dollars an hour driving around and making occasional stops so Lindsay can ‘detox’ on the side of the road’ ".

Tough noogies for Virgie Arthur as the Bahamas courts blocked her last minute appearl to keep Larry Birkhead from leaving the Bahamas with little Dannielynn. In addition to calling her plea “weak”, judges also fined her $3,000 smackers for wasting everyone’s time. Custody hearings for the Million Dollar Baby resume in June. In the meantime, happy parenting, Larry! Single Fatherhood is a bitch.

Is there anything Prince can’t do? I mean, the man is nearly 50, he still rocks the hot pop tunes, he whooped Charlie Murphy’s ass in basketball AND he humiliated Paris Hilton last week when he invited her up on stage: As a "delighted" Hilton obliged, Prince, 48, handed her the mic and told the audience, "Let’s see if she can really sing," says the witness. Hilton stormed offstage - and left the club two songs later. This should be a new reality show, Humiliate Over Exposed Celebrities! Kind of like Punk’d, but a lot more focused on serious emotional trauma.