I don’t know what the
big deal is that could be a
bad case of gas there

I’m convinced Angelina and Brad are building some kind of army, which is at the moment a Baby Army, that will one day be big enough to crush a small government.

Star Magazine recently spilled the beans to squash any rumors: Angelina Jolie is pregnant with twins. That’s TWO more! It’s so obvious now.

People thought I was crazy when I began boycotting Mr & Mrs Smith and all subsequent Pitt-Jolie movies. Or when I started sending hate-mail to the National Center for Refugee and Immigrant Children [it’s a baby-farm for Jolie and Pitt]. Now, surely everyone can see what a threat this ’supercouple’ presents to the world. Be wary.

Angelina Jolie and her Maybe Baby SAG Awards Gown:

and the Chocolate Vanilla Swirl Jell-o Pudding Pop:

Beowulf star Angelina Jolie is in for a nasty surprise and it isn’t the estimate on Brad Pitt’s Botox bill. The biological mother of her eldest daughter Zahara wants her baby girl returned to her in Ethiopia:

“I want my daughter to come home to see where she is from. Her grandmother and I both tried very hard to raise her, and I want her to come home to regain her identity,” she said.

There are many crass jokes to be made here: going from the penthouse to the projects; Brangelina would hardly miss one of their kids since they have so freaking many; Angelina should burn the receipt from the Bastard Bin, et al. Yet I refrain because I think the worst thing that could happen is a family being torn apart.

Thanks For Nothing, Pants
You Couldn’t Have Waited ‘Til
I Was Walking By?