Come on. Her mother is one of the most image obsessed people alive yet little Lola’s got a unibrow that sends those lame cavemen from the car insurance commercials running back to their lairs to get a piece of the sun that fell from the earth and burn the monster to death. I know some of you are going to be all “She’s a child, leave her alone!” I’ll leave her alone when she leaves me some of her trust fund. You can’t honestly tell me that child lives in the same house with Madonna and has no idea how to wield a pair of tweezers? I’m sure there’s some hot wax laying around the house from a sexual encounter with a guy dressed in a Caligula costume, let’s get that going so she can blossom into the flower she is.

When I think about Venice, Italy the first thing that pops into my head is "gondola." Simple, common little me with my ridiculous notions, if I was a true visionary, I would be thinking like Marc Jacobs and said "pigeon." Inspiration comes in all forms, darling.

Hence MJ’s appearance at the Venetian Carnival Ball:

Marc was dressed as a giant pigeon as his guest gasped as he stepped out. He explained that it was his first thought of Venice. All the pigeons flying about inspired his masquerade choice.

Sweet Suri Cruise, he looks like he’s about to take a dump on my car! Then again, who am I to question Fashion?