Reality star Kim Kardashian’s Onion Booty is making a big stink in Hollywood and even her little frenemies are getting in on the Haterade action. Paris Hilton blabbed on the radio about her pal’s pillowy posterior:

“I would not want [Kim’s butt] - it’s gross!” Paris told a Las Vegas radio show on April 14. “It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag.”

As long as we are doing food/body comparisons, can I just point out that P-Hil’s neck looks like a freaking Thanksgiving dinner: a turkey gobbler neck topped with an Adam’s Apple so huge the Mott’s people are thinking about hiring her as their spokesperson. Add the banana boat feet and you’ve got yourself a square meal.

Heinous zit? Cold sore? Itchy STD rash that’s worked its way from her poisoned nether regions in a quest to see daylight and perhaps something other than a steady stream of C list man meat? Click on the jump to find out.

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Miss Hilton has made us all suffer fools now that she’s revealed that her trek out with a swami the other day was nothing more than a jump off for her new E! show called “Pop Fiction”. Which would have been a total burn if everyone didn’t already know that guy was actor Maxie Santillian and the closest he’s gotten to being a Holy Man is praying that his career doesn’t go down in flames after being in such close proximity to Paris Hilton. Good try though, P-Hil but I still think your dress makes you look like The Little Whore House On the Prairie.

This is so rich it has to be fattening. Paris Hilton was photographed with some dude who looks like he could lead you on some mountain trek where all you drink is yak milk to purify your insight or some other BS. The joke turned out to be on her. The strikingly bearded 52(!)year old Maxie Santillan is as much a shaman as Elton John is a Catholic Republican:

He’s starred in tons of films and TV shows including “My Name is Earl” and “Pirates of the Caribbean.” According to IMDB, Maxie’s latest projects are all in “post production” so clearly he has enough free time to whore it up for Paris.

What’s with her little demure white dress? She probably thinks it makes her look virginal and holy but all I can think of is a porno starring the Swiss Miss Cocoa chick.

I know that Paris is trying to look uber sexy in these latest photos of her appearing in 944 magazine but I am just not getting that vibe. Is it the sunglasses she got at Chuck E. Cheese’s after winning 1000 tickets at Skee-Ball? Or that she went tanning by taking a dip in the Cheeto Factory Vats? Looking at these is making me want to get acquainted with a roll of Charmain and a copy of Teen People. Then there’s shots like these:

Skin tone normal, nice cleavage. Is this the same person? Take away the Boy George makeup and I might be able to admit a slight tingle of arousal. More confusing shots of La Hilton trying to cling to fame after the jump.

Read the rest of Paris Hilton: Money Can’t Buy Bathroom Visits