At the urging of manager/evil demon Sam Lufti, Britney Spears blew off her family’s attempt to get her into counseling for her bipolar disorder to go out and buy a new luxury car. There she is trooping around the car lot with said Satan Lufti and her mom Lynne. Personally, I’d be out trying to get custody of my children back, but maybe this is her way of caring about the kids. Call it a nice surprise for the next time she’ll be around her boys again: right around the time they’ll be getting driver’s licenses. Then it will be their turn to strap Mommy down and drive on the wrong side of the road before dropping by gas stations to take a whizz barefoot before stealing a lighter. They grow up so fast.

Britney Spears’ no show in Los Angeles family court has resulted in her maintaining her no visitation status until February:

The Commissioner has just ruled that Britney will not have visitation restored, at least until the next hearing on February 19.
The order came after the testimony of several people, including two LAPD cops who responded to the craziness a week ago Thursday; Lisa Hacker, a parenting coach; Lonnie Jones, a bodyguard, and Pamela Strong, the court monitor who was present during the drama. K-Fed’s attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, testified as well.

While various concerned parties spoke about her state mind, Spears hgad shown up for the hearing but without the cooperation of fed up law enforcement officers chose to ditch court in favor of Argentinian grub with Skank ‘O The Moment Adnan Ghalib and Agent/Douchebag Sam Lufti. Let’s not judge her too harshly for how many of us have looked at our precious children and decided to trade them for spicy meat filled delights? At least it wasn’t exchanging them for crack, though I have a feeling that is next on the Britney agenda.

Here’s the skinny: Kevin’s bodyguard came to pick up the little ones to take them home to daddy and Britney refused for three freaking hours to let the children go so the cops stepped in:

“While officers were on the scene, they observed Ms. Spears under the influence of an unknown substance,” Lee added. “She is now being taken in for an evaluation, more than likely to a hospital. There were no reported injuries to anyone involved including the children.” People magazine reports Spears was supposed to hand over sons Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, to Kevin Federline’s bodyguard at 7 p.m., but she locked herself in a room with her youngest son and refused to give him up. The court-appointed monitor called the police and Federline, his lawyer, and the cops were spotted arriving at the house an hour later. “[The monitor] had already put Preston in the car when Britney locked herself in a room with Jayden,” a source tells People. “The cops came and got through the door and tied her down to a gurney.”

A strapped down Britney seemed to be in the midst of a total psychotic breakdown, laughing and flipping off the paparazzi that surrounded her home after word got out that there was a custody battle brewing at her Los Angeles home. She’s being held at Cedars-Sinai for a full medical evaluation as a “special needs” patient, code words for one who is a danger to themselves. Her drug test came back clean, so it’s just plain old fashioned insanity our gal is suffering. I cannot wait to see the home movies of Sean Preston and Jayden James are going to put together as adults trying to figure themselves out. “Look, there’s where mommy held you hostage for hours! Dr. Wexler is going to have field day showing you how this made you into a pill popping drag queen!”

An intoxicated Britney Speatrs was hauled off in an ambulance early this morning after a 3 hour standoff with police involving the hand off of kids Sean and Jayden to ex Kevin Federline. The circumstances are not so clear yet, but I am going to go on and say that her Cheetos/Cocaine/Ice Cream/Syringes were stuffed into the children’s diaper bag and she really needed to get those back. More on this as it unfolds.

Of course she is! It’s Britney Spears! She would dress the kids in meat bathing suits then take them to the zoo and drop them off in the bear cage while she wet off to smoke a joint behind the bird exhibit. Then she would claim she thought it was Build-A-Bear and shrug off their horrific wounds with a “My bad!”

Newly released court documents state that La Spears is indeed under the scrutiny of Child Protective Services as she continues to booze her way to getting custody of her sons Sean and Jayden. Her lawyer tried to to file a motion to keep the documents supressed:

“I try to keep the children’s travel and transportation plans as confidential as possible in order to minimize the chances that unscrupulous journalists will gain unwelcome access to me and the boys. Such information greatly increases the chances that the actions of the media could threaten the safety of the children by, for example, causing a traffic accident or by exposing them to criminals who might target them for financial gain.”

So says the woman who routinely allows to paparazzi to pump her gas, give her directions and order her Taco Bell while recklessly driving in a convertible with her children improperly strapped into carseats. Nice try. CPS smacked her back:

“Based upon its investigation to date, it should be noted that [the Department of Children and Family Services] has concerns of its own regarding the safety and welfare of the children if the children are left in the mother’s care.”

If I had a choice between leaving my kids with Britney or leaving then in the ring during a bullfight, I’d be yanking off their red t-shirts and teaching them to shout “Ole!”